You have crossed the threshold. But now you are terrified. Or unsure. Perhaps wondering where this will all lead. I tell you, you cannot know. You must have faith. You must trust that facing the darkness is better than hiding from it. That walking into it is better than running from it. Have you ever found the light in your hiding? In your running? Was it there when you turned up the music or drank yourself into oblivion? How about when you proved you were right or when you were invited to come along? The fleeting forgetfulness was there…the validation was there, but the light?
And you want the light.
The light is why you are searching. You are drawn to it. You desire it. Perhaps tentatively. Perhaps desperately. But the light is what you seek.
So here it is. The next step….
You must embrace silence.
You are relieved. Okay, I can do that, you say. Or, maybe, you are disappointed. You suspected all along. Maybe you are shocked. Incredulous. Outraged.
Perhaps you have already tried, and it did not go well. Maybe you got impatient, distracted, or frustrated. Maybe you were scared. It’s okay. You might find it unpleasant at first. Maybe frightening. You will wonder about its point. I assure you, it is a means to end. Perhaps the only means to your only end. To your fulfillment and fruition–to your telos.
You must take little, practical steps to embrace silence. Shut off your music. Power off your phone. Right now, find a quiet spot and shut the door. Sit somewhere comfortable and light a candle, or go for a walk in the woods or a park. If you are on the subway or in the breakroom, just close your eyes. Try it for just a bit right now. Two minutes. Five minutes. Ten. Be patient with yourself. Don’t give up. If the darkness comes surging up, tell yourself it’s okay, because it is–it’s only a fear of the unknown. Eventually it will lose its power over you. But it takes time. And faith.
Remember you are a child of the light and the darkness is no match for you.
Stay here as long as you can. Come back as often as you want.